You guys. Stop wasting your day in agony from your bad ass hungover. There’s a cure. Sure, it’s somewhat dependant on just how many drinks you consumed the night prior, and what your poison is probably as well. And maybe it varies person to person, I don’t know. But this works for me. If it doesn’t cure me completely, it definitely brings about SIGNIFICANT improvements every single time I employ this model. So… you’re welcome.
The 4 Steps To Curing Your Hangover
Step 1: Request* that your nearest love one run out to the store and get you some Ginger Ale. (Unless you’re a super smart drinker who keeps some stock piled in the refrigerator for these desperate occasions.)
*It is imperative that you do not demand too fiercely, although in your head you may be screaming your words, so that your loved ones do not become angry with you. This is a tough day, and you need them to continue to feel sorry for you and care for you until you’re better, so be nice. But also, don’t subtly drop hints that you would like this Ginger Ale like you do three months before Christmas when you’re hoping for expensive jewellry. This is not a frivolous desire, this is a basic need. You NEED this Ginger Ale so you don’t end up throwing up all the tequila along with most of the bile in your stomach, so be clear in your request.
Step 2: When loved one returns with said Ginger Ale, request they deliver it to you along with two (or three) pain killers of your choice. I usually go for the tried and true Extra Strength Tylenol, but I don’t know what you have in your medicine cabinets. Down those bad boys with a swig of Ginger Ale.
Hint: Taking pain killers when you’re in this I-might-have-to-vomit state can be risky, as if you vomit shortly after you’ve taken them, they’re just coming back up. Plus the act of vomiting will likely increase your headache. So, be sure you’re taking them with Ginger Ale so you’re settling your stomach simultaneously. See how that works?
Step 3: Run the shower and make sure it’s hot. This would also be a good time to remove all clothes, and possibly put your favorite soothing playlist on. Nothing too loud, as you likely have a headache. I usually panic and go for Jack Johnson when I’m feeling low. But up to you.
Did you leave that Ginger Ale in the other room? Go back and get it. You’re not done with that yet!
Step 4: Get into your shower and SIT DOWN. Let your head hang forward and the hot beads of water hammer (or trickle, if you have weak ass water pressure) onto your hair and down your body. You cannot be standing in the shower for this to work, you must sit. Cross your legs, whatever.
Stay this way, taking sips of your Ginger Ale every 1-2 minutes for as long as it takes. I usually do at least fifteen minutes (or five Jack Johnson tunes) but hey it could take all day. If you don’t feel inclined to move, don’t. Just sit and sip.
Follow these simple steps and I can promise you that when you DO emerge from the shower, you’ll be in a much better way than before.
I recommend putting on your softest, most favorite pair of pyjamas, climbing into bed (trusty Ginger Ale still by your side if you haven’t finished off the bottle already) and cueing up an entire season of the TV show you’re currently following on Netflix.